Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Fewer clouds today

The last time I posted I was truly at the saddest point I have been in a long time. Today I decided to read my emails and go to the websites I visit every week and read what was said if anything. The comments cheered me up and an email from a friend said something that should have been so obvious to me.

For the past several years of my life I have been attacked physically with the cancers and cancer scares, emotionally with a husband who cheated, financially with not being able to pay medical bills or even for food at times. Truly before this period, I felt like I was on top of the world with my faith. Normally I would be dying for a shot of some kind of benzo to calm me down just thinking of bills but lately it hadn't been that way.

God isn't the author of fear--someone else is and that thing attackimg my faith isn't going to take it from me. He can have everything else as much as I would hate to give it up but faith is what sustains me.

I love Casting Crowns. I was feeling down even before reading the email when I decided to get in the car and visit my dad since he turned 62 today. Who am I? was what came on when I got in the car. I thought--that's right, who am I to question God? Things are going to be ok and I will get back to blogging about my past when I have more time and am able.

1 comment:

~Rebekah~ said...

Amen sister! Bills unfortunately are here to stay. Everyone has them, not everyone can afford them. It's these times that we learn about basic financial stewardship, do the best we can with what we have and let the rest go. God will provide for all your means as you learn to take care of what He gives you. Things are tough, it's who you stand with that will give you the strength and power to make it through dear one.

Keep moving forward friend.

Rebekah