Well, I was going to create a new section

but I completely forgot how?

No new news in my life really. I will be seeing the GYN late in Sept about having my uterus removed. I am really not looking forward to this and I may opt to have endometrial biopsies each year instead. All the surgery has caught up to me. If I can't have this done when they do my nipples then I will wait.

I can't believe I had my masectomy on Feb 28th and I am STILL not finished with the process of getting new breasts. I even settled for a B cup and I'm still waiting. Apparently it takes a while for implants to settle and this explains my dimpling and they can't do anything with creating nipples until things have settled. I'm starting to grow used to my body looking this way. Have I completely accepted it? No chance but I'm working on it. I know God has reasons for even the worse things that happen so I'm clinging to him and trying not to ask questions. Sometimes it is very difficult not to ask them though.

I'm amazed at how many women are being diagnosed with breast cancer prior to age 40. I always thought I wouldn't have anything to worry about before then--not really. My fibrocystic stuff was always benign and I was told not to worry because my young age worked in my favor but since my diagnosis I have had an online aquaintance be diagnosed and a sister of an online friend diagnosed. She asked if it was because of something new happening and I like to think it's because we are just catching things sooner.

I drive myself crazy sometimes. I looked up how high the odds are of cancer the younger you have ct scans. I can't remember but it was insane. I had my first ct scan in 1978 and was not even a year old. I've had a bunch since then plus MRIs and all kinds of tests.

I look at the cancer cure rates now and am no longer as impressed. Now I understand these reflect 5 year cure rates and many people go on to have later relapses or be diagnosed with another type. My first dysgerminoma technically went down as cured but at 6 years in remission it came back. Who knows what the real odds are? That's what is so freaking scary about this disease. What sucks is waiting 5 years to hear CURE only to have year #6 bring the cancer back. I'm not griping though. I once read a case where dysgerminoma came back after TWENTY years. I will be free and clear from that one for 16 years on Feb 15, 2009. Then 13 days later I will celebrate 1 year since the ductal in situ was diagnosed.

I can't help but worry about if they'll find cancer in my colon or small intestine--those are the next to be tested. Or somewhere on my skin since I worshipped the tanning bed for 6 years every single day from age 15-21. But with all this I have to continue to remember that life is something that should be taken day by day. I've worried so much away as it is. I'm tired.